Jump and build your wings on the way down

I was asked to share a story. One that women could relate to and may be be inspired or encouraged by. This story is featured on Hezalia. I have to say I had hard time coming up with something. But I realized I talk to women all the time who are going through this same issue so i figured it would be good to share. I couldn’t even figure out a title. Good the founder of Hezalia had something in mind. Here it is:

Some times our biggest obstacles are the ones we put in our own path. Once we feel confident enough to move them there is no limit to what we can do.

Fear of the unknown and complacently of the familiar can be a dangerous combination. I know this first hand; this duo hit me several years ago. I was working at a job that I had assumed I was “meant” to be at. I thought that I was doing something in line with my purpose. But the job changed, the environment changed, and the people changed. I no longer enjoyed my work. I no longer enjoyed going to work. I dreaded the days and couldn’t wait until it was time to go home. I was miserable.

So what do you do? I had talked to other women who were facing the same issue and the consensus was clear. You stick it out. You don’t take a risk. Really? We should just give in to being miserable? As we women we focus on making sure we can take care of ourselves, our families, and that we are being responsible. Quitting a job without another lined up was not responsible. Bedsides this was purpose right? You don’t quit your purpose.

In order to not be seen as irresponsible I figured I should start finding a new job. But there was nothing that sounded right. Sure there were jobs I could go to just to be out of my current situation but I wanted something more. I didn’t want good enough, I wanted joy.

I flirted with the idea of starting my own thing. I just couldn’t shake the idea that it would be “irresponsible”. And I heard the voices of others who said, “You don’t leave a job with benefits and a steady income for the unknown.” I mean when you put it that way it does sound irresponsible. So I decided to suck it up and stick it out but I couldn’t stop thinking of what it would be like to run my own business.

My misery level did not go down, in fact it increased. The environment was becoming more and more toxic and I knew I could no longer go on this way. I had to get out. I went to work one day, I had no intention of quitting, but after a very toxic morning I quit at lunch. That was not on the schedule. I think I surprised myself. I had no backup plan. I had no new job. But I did have peace and that was all I needed.

I decided to let myself be sad for a day and then it was time to get to work. That was nearly 7 years ago. I stared Sassy Litigations and its sub brands to great success. I am not miserable when I go to work and I am building my legacy in the way that I choose and not the way that has been dictated to me. I think this is a big reason why I really love helping others start their own businesses.

I often talk to women who are wanting to start a business or to quit their jobs because they are miserable. But they have the same fear and complacency that I had. It was easy to go to work every day, I was miserable, but I had become used to it and that was better than the fear of the unknown. The women I talk to relate to this very well. They don’t want to be seen as irresponsible. They are willing to put up with the misery if it means some sort of financial security. But what we as women need to understand is that we are allowed to be happy and financially secure. We can take risks and be “irresponsible.” Once we are able to remove the obstacles and fears from our path we can do great things.

As the saying goes, jump and build your wings on the way down. You might surprise yourself.